Friendship is a universal feeling

No matter where you come from, going off to college is a big deal. 对我来说是 另一个世界.  

Traveling thousands of miles away, across an ocean to a different continent — from Johannesburg, 南非 to 萨拉托加温泉市 — I was worried I might have little in common with people 在火博体育. 我错了 ... 在很多方面.  

新鲜的开始 

我害怕地来到火博体育. 我怕自己会引人注目. 我怕有人 might make fun of the way I talked. 我怕有人 might say something insensitive 火博体育我来自哪里. 我担心我可能不属于这里. 但我知道，作为一个 values friendship and connection, I had to push through my fears.  

这不是魔法. It didn’t just start raining friends. 事实上，它相当 相反. 

At first, I thought I had to play a role. I had to be a certain “type” of person — one that people “wanted” to be friends with. I found that, while my behavior attracted friends, I didn’t feel a close connection to them. Thus, they were relationships that 又热又冷. 不深刻的，不有意义的.  

After a few honest conversations with these friends, I realized what had happened.  

By presenting a false version of myself, I had set our friendships up for failure. How could I expect authenticity from them, if I had offered a fabricated version of 我自己作为回报? I had created this situation, but it also meant I could start over.  

重新开始  

Now, when people asked, “How are you today?” I didn’t just say the easy thing, “Great!” I said the honest thing, “I’ve seen better days, but I am grateful for life!”  

I was still silly and fun, because part of me is. But I was also sincere and sentimental. 坦率诚实.  

What I found is that when I first shared my authentic self, people reciprocated. 和 this is how real, lasting friendships are built.

美丽的友谊  

If I could float over Skidmore and look down at my life here from 30,000 feet, I’d see amazing people from all over the world. So many of them I can call friends, family even — brothers and sisters — because they appreciate and celebrate who I am fully.  

When I owned my heritage, I gained friends that wanted to learn about it. 他们喜欢 my home language, isiZulu, and my home nickname, Mphile. 

When I stepped into being new to this world, I gained friends who were, too. 一些 of my closest bonds are with friends from Africa. 这是一个很大的大陆，有些 our lives are vastly different, but our shared experiences are priceless — from catching up on the latest celebrity gossip to laughing about family dynamics in our home countries.  

When I accepted others, they accepted me. Now, I have friends from Ecuador, Morocco, 连接icut, California and everywhere in between. 分享我们的语言和文化 and perspectives has been one of the most impactful experiences of my life.  

Friendship is universal, no matter where you’re from 

Whether someone is from down the street or another hemisphere, deep down we all came here on day one with the same gut-knotting, shoulder-tensing vulnerability that makes 我们想知道，“我能找到朋友吗?”  

剧透:我们都会找到自己的朋友.  

If you’ll be coming to Skidmore from another hemisphere or another state, know that 害怕是可以的.  

We all want to find people who can value and accept us for who we are. 只要… you stay authentic and open, you will find amazing people looking to connect. 

You might not meet your best friend in the first week of college, but I promise it is possible to find genuine people who you’ll love.  

和 before you know it, you will be a senior with an amazing support system writing about all the great friends you thought you might never make.